Bookstore shenanigans

Hola, amigos. Ingrid here. So, yeah, like Arthur said in the last post, he got his head cut off by an oversized aluminum frog sculpture. After doing the dirty deed Froggy pointed at me. If I hadn’t just seen him cut of my buddy’s head I would have thought it was pretty funny, some frog in a tux trying to look badass. I was actually glad that Jiminy Cricket’s evil cousin had his sights on me, since that would give Ella and Miriam a chance to get out of the store and get my stuff out of Ella’s jeep. Because right then I had nothin’ but my fists and my charm to defend myself with.

Froggy was between me and the counter, so even if Miriam had done something as awesome and hilarious as hiding a shotgun under there, I wouldn’t be able to get at it. Something I could get at was the kids’ area of the bookstore, which had a couple of chairs with plastic seats and metal legs. I rushed over there, grabbed a chair, and held it in front of me, with the legs pointed at Froggy.

Luckily, Froggy was dumb enough to start swinging at me. My plan was just to block his swings with the chair, running interference for Ella and Miriam. I had the idea of charging Froggy and pinning him against a bookshelf with the chair, but I guessed he would give me some nasty kicks if I tried that. I was about to tell the two ladies to get out to the jeep but then I saw Miriam run behind the frog, so I figured they already knew what to do.

And here’s where it starts getting weird. (Yeah, I know, I’ve got an abnormally high weirdness threshold.) I’m concentrating on Froggy’s sword and out of the corner of my eye I see this bright purple thing swinging toward the right side of his head. The thing connects and there’s this sound like thunder and what looks like a purple lightning bolt running down the frog’s body and it collapses. I look over to my right and there’s Ella, carrying this pole with a round purple crystal on the end. I’m all, “What is that?” and she’s like, “Miriam got it out of her office.” I look toward the front of the store and I see Miriam kneeling next to Arthur and holy crap, dudes: Arthur’s HEAD IS BACK ON HIS BODY.

So I drop the chair, and Ella and I go over to Miriam and Arthur, and I see that Arthur’s breathing. I say to Miriam “Did you just reattach his head?” and she gets all embarrassed and says “um…yeah,” and I say “How? With magic?” and she’s like “uh-huh” and I say “That’s awesome!” and she starts smiling and blushing. Too cute! I’d never met an actual spell casting lady before, but me and my sister have hunted some strange beasties so it wasn’t a total shock to find out that there’s also a real-life Hermione or whatever that Harry Potter girl’s name is.

Ella says that she can’t even see a scar on Arthur’s neck. I would have been a little bummed about that if I were him. I mean, seriously, folks: a DECAPITATION scar? How sweet would that be? Then Arthur opens his eyes and starts acting all dazed, and Miriam starts talking to him in a low voice. I hear Arthur say something about an heiress, which I don’t get at all. Miriam just REATTACHED YOUR HEAD WITH MAGIC and you think she’s Paris Hilton? Anyway, here’s where Arthur tells me he wants to pick up the story. Peace out, be excellent to each other, and see ya, shorties.

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One comment on “Bookstore shenanigans

  1. Arthur Lewis Ormand says:

    I hear Arthur say something about an heiress…

    Actually, what you heard was Aeris.

    http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Aerith_Gainsborough

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